Everybody Needs a Bosom for a Pillow

For about a week now, the young man has been slightly out of sorts. He has had the Runny Nose from Hell (which he hates to have wiped, choosing instead to leave Demon Snot on the Sleeve of Mom). His appetite has been off, which means that when you present him with food lovingly prepared for him, he takes it from you, and then throws it on the ground as if to say "That's what I think of you and your waffle!" Mostly, though, he's been a tired cuss.

One would think, after having read a year's worth of my posts that can mostly be boiled down to "The child won't sleep! Ha ha!" that him being super sleepy as he gets over this cold/runny nose from hell/thing would be a good development. Unfortunately, LO is only interested in sleeping if he can splay all over his favorite piece of furniture--me.

Believe it or not, I was prepared to be used as a tissue (see demon snot, above), a jungle gym and even a chauffeur. But it never occurred to me that LO would decide that I am a portable bed. It makes sense, after all. Not only do I have comfortable padding, a fully adjustable frame and a built-in lullaby player/soother, but I also dispense a beverage so that a parched young man does not even have to get up from "bed" or even wake up fully to quench his thirst.

It was actually sweet and charming on Monday when he fell asleep on me. Luckily, Shrek II was on TBS (when is it ever not?) and that being one of those movies that never gets old (so far), I was able to watch and snuggle and snuggle and watch. It was lovely. Then on Tuesday LO wanted a repeat performance. So we snuggled all morning. Ditto Wednesday. And Thursday. Today, I'm ready for LO to take a nap on his own. Or feel better. Or something.

Sometime next week, when the child is running me ragged as he makes his way from one unanticipated hazard in the house to the next (ooh, battery acid!), I know that future me will laugh at the naivete of this week me. I thought it was a pain having to hold the tired child all week. Ha ha! If only I knew!

But I am ready to retire as LO's bed. He tosses. He turns. He's a flop sweater. He wipes his boogers on brand new sweaters.

Okay, I'm lying. I'm totally going to miss the snuggling. I'd just like to get something accomplished other than deepening the ass print I've made on the sofa.