Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Totally (Un)Necessary Trip to Indy

"Put some blankets in this bad boy and I'll nap in here."

It should surprise no one to hear that we're yet again having some sleeping problems with LO. He takes a single one hour nap during the day, which is clearly not enough. He wakes up after 2-4 hours of independent sleep each night and then joins me and J in the big bed for a restful night of kicking his mama while she lies in a pretzel shape so as to nurse him while keeping the evil comforter off his torso while still covering his constantly moving legs.

The pink-eyed, whining creature who has been inhabiting our home for the past few weeks bears some resemblance to LO, but I believe that the elves have traded our son for a changeling who's behind on his sleep.

Things came to a head earlier this week when Mr. Cranky Pants would not calm down, and fussed through his laughter as his daddy faked sneezed to try to cheer the child up.

"Something must be done," J said, secure in the knowledge that he is lacking in mammary glands.

"It's going to suck for a little while," he added. There was no specific delineation of whom it would suck for.

So, later this week I will begin a middle of the night routine of rocking/nursing LO back to sleep before stowing him back in his own bed. To facilitate matters for the mammaried among this little family, we'll bring the futon mattress up to LO's room so that I can just sack out there should the path between his room and the master bedroom suddenly become longer in the dark, as paths are wont to do when one is tired.

Today, however, it became clear that our future plans for LO's sleep are somehow failing to help him in the here and now. Despite an hour nap while I was teaching Sunday school, LO was cranky, whiny, screamy and other unpleasant -ies from just about when he woke up this morning through the fruitless hour I spent trying to get him to nap from 2:00 to 3:00 this afternoon. Fed up, I threw some outer wear on the child, and strapped him into the car.

"Farewell!" I called to J. "I'm going to Indy."

At first, J did not believe me. But there was a madness to my method. The child will consistently sleep in the car. The child will always wake up pretty much the moment the car stops moving. If I want the child to get a decent amount of sleep, the car will need to remain in motion for about two hours. Indianapolis is about an hour away. I might as well run an errand while the child is keeping me hostage to his sleep schedule.

So, LO and I trekked to Trader Joe's on the outskirts of Circle City. As predicted, LO awoke within moments after arriving at the greatest grocery the world has ever known. He helped me pick out reasonably priced healthy(ish) food. He maintained his story that the nap had been unnecessary, but he was certainly more pleasant to be around while we were shopping than he had been the rest of the day.

Strangely, the trip to Indy also bolstered J's mood. I arrived back, laden with goodies, and as each new culinary surprise was unearthed, J reasserted his love for me. He even cooked dinner.

What kind of shopping would I have to do to get him to take over the night nursings, do you suppose?

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