Monday, June 4, 2012

A Definition

par·ent·hood

noun
1.  the state, position, or relation of a parent
2.  the psychological state wherein the progenitor (usu. mother) of an individual who has just epically vomited upon himself twice in as many hours will cheerfully invite said vomity individual into his parents' bed despite the individual having only had a quick wipe-down with a damp towel after being de-gross-pajama-ed so that a distinct eau de nasty still clings to the individual, particularly on his head where he seems to have gotten vomit in his hair which the parent will plan on dealing with in the morning because washing a toddler's hair at midnight is just too much to handle although the parent will see nothing wrong with giving said individual a kiss on the top of his stinky head while she snuggles with the sleepy, adorable, and somewhat disgusting creature in the hopes that she will get a few hours of sleep before the next round of Exorcist level nastiness begins.
 
See Also: Shit·you·nev·er·thought·you'd·do.

(Note: this definition was NOT included in any of the What to Expect books.)

2 comments:

  1. More please! At 5am your very funny, and, alas, painfully ;) true renditions of toddler behaviour is two of two to bring a smile to my face. One of two being, however clichés it might be: nursing her at 5am (to sleep!).

    ReplyDelete
  2. More please! At 5am your very funny, and, alas, painfully ;) true renditions of toddler behaviour is two of two to bring a smile to my face. One of two being, however clichés it might be: nursing her at 5am (to sleep!).

    ReplyDelete