Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Psychic

Our new house in Lafayette butts up against the house of a real, live, working psychic. She has a neon sign and a shingle advertising her services and everything. She also has two beautiful muscle cars in her driveway, but that is another post.

At the closing, we talked to the previous owners (POs) about the fact that a real, live, working psychic is the neighbor, and the husband told the following story: Apparently the psychic was using the POs' municipal trash can and overfilling it. Eventually, the husband got annoyed, took the psychic's trash bags out of the can and left them on her porch along with a note. Time passed. The POs mentioned the trash can incident to the next door neighbor, who then told them that the psychic had come by with a freshly baked pie and apologized for using her trash can, which confused the neighbor to no end. We shared a laugh at the closing over the psychic not knowing which neighbor it was she had pissed off.

Last night, I was napping (that kind of goes without saying at this point. If you're wondering what I'm doing, guessing that I'm sleeping will be correct over 70% of the time). In any case, I was napping while J was working on cleaning the filter in the koi pond. (Yes, the new house has a koi pond. Keep up.) The psychic opened up our back gate and came on in to talk to J. (She's also a life coach, according to her shingle. We're thinking life coaches are naturally assertive people). She was polite, but she told J that she had to hire someone to cut back the bush that grows over the back fence 3 times that year because it would scratch her truck as she drove past. She also said that the latch on our back gate must be faulty because it had blown open a couple of times and hit her truck. J was apologetic. We want to be on good terms with our neighbors, particularly those with second sight. He told her that we had just moved in on Saturday and that he didn't have his tools yet, but he would certainly make the bush and the gate a priority.

The psychic then looked confused. "You just moved in? I thought you were the same guy who's been living here this whole time!"

This is the point in the story (as J was relating it to me) that I said "Some psychic!"

Now, to be fair, J and the PO husband are both Jewish, dark haired, and engineers. The similarities stop there.

The PO wife is Japanese. She is also very petite.

I am 8 months pregnant.

The POs have three lovely children.

It is still T-minus 5 weeks before our LO arrives.

The house had a for sale sign, then a sold sign, then an 18-wheel moving truck in front of it. Then there was our U-Haul, not to mention different cars, as well as roofing guys prior to our possession and flooring guys trooping in regularly since our possession to give us flooring estimates.

I'm sure there were other indications of a change of ownership, but those are just the ones I can think of without straining myself too badly.

Not to cast aspersions on our neighborhood psychic, but I hope she's one hell of a life coach.