Monday, February 14, 2011

Introducing Mr. New Tooth McBitesalot

Apparently, the members of the G family tend to be early teethers. When my father successfully grew a tooth at 3 or 4 months, my Grandma Betta actually wondered what the hell was wrong with the toothless 9-month-old she encountered one day at the park. I apparently had teeth at about 4 months, to my mother's chagrin. With this information in mind, I've been convinced on several occasions that LO has started the long road leading to oral hygiene. I've been wrong every time. The additional drool output was incidental. The gumming of my arm was either affection or an early indication that LO has inherited J and my nearsightedness. ("I'm sure I can get milk to come out of this if I just try hard enough!") The consistent placement of LO's hand in his mouth was just an indication that I should make sure the baby lotion and the barbecue sauce are in their respective places before I try to use either.

However, I have recently had irrefutable proof that LO is, in fact, teething. He has started biting me.

Now, considering the fact that LO is starting on a single tooth that is taking its sweet time to erupt, the biting should not be such a big deal. Unfortunately, LO is biting me when he is in possession of a particularly sensitive portion of my person. In addition, he likes to chomp down as hard as possible and then pull away with his jaws still clamped together.

I apologize for the collective wince that everyone just felt, but what's a blog for if not to make people feel uncomfortable on a grand scale?

I do get a little warning before the torture commences. LO growls a little prior to making like a barracuda. I think one of two things is going on: Either the poor lamb is really hurting because of the the rogue tooth breaking through untouched gum, or he seems to think he's a miniature Tyrannosaurus Rex because I have inadvertently given birth to Calvin of cartoon fame.

In any case, each time it happens, I take him away from the breast and make him wait several minutes before he's allowed to finish his meal. I know that he will get the idea eventually. I made a point of looking up this phenomenon in the book last night and learned that it typically takes 20 to 30 incidents for the child to learn that bitey=bad.

Let's just take that in for a few moments while we all enjoy some deep cleansing breaths.


As I tell LO multiple times per day, it's a damn good thing he's so cute.

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