Thursday, April 12, 2012

13 Ways of Looking at a Matzah

I. I like matzah with butter and jam. Since the beginning of Pesach, we have gone through a stick and a half of butter. I really would prefer not to think about this.

II. We live in Indiana. When I sent hummus on matzah to daycare for LO's lunch, apparently both substances were unidentifiable to the cute little shiksa who fed him. She wrote on his daily page: "LO ate all of his sandwich thing."

III. I bought one box of matzah prior to Passover and then got another two from Grandpa and Bubbie while we visited them over the weekend. Of course, that was not nearly enough matzah to get us through the rest of the week. (See stick and a half of butter, above). When I went to the only grocery store in the area that I knew carried matzah, the only kinds left were flavored: Egg & Onion flavor and Sundried Tomato.

IV. Butter and jam on Egg & Onion flavored matzah is really weird.

V. One half stick of butter has been used during the time that the only kind of matzah in the house is Egg & Onion flavored.

VI. Peanut butter on Egg & Onion flavored matzah is even weirder.

VII. LO doesn't seem to notice.

VIII. We've gone through half a jar of peanut butter during the time that the only kind of matzah in the house is Egg & Onion flavored.

IX. I'm considering making this chocolate crunch matzah recipe, despite the fact that we have, as stated above, only Egg & Onion flavored matzah in the house.

XI. Please don't let me do that.

XII. Prior to Pesach, Jews are supposed to clean their house of chametz--that is, bread and bread crumbs. It's kind of a religious spring cleaning. This spring cleaning is problematic, however, because matzah is the single most crumbly substance on the planet. Even if I had cleaned out my entire house (because does anyone believe I could possibly do that?), I would still currently have matzah crumbs in every nook, cranny, crevice, and right out there in the open on the floor, because I have a tendency to eat my butter-and-jam Egg & Onion matzah while wandering around the house, and the dog is not a big fan of matzah. We might need to move to really get this all clean.

XIII. I'd kill for a slice of pizza.


  1. My absolute favorite matzoh is Streit's Moonstrips - the onion/poppy seed/not egg ones. I refrained from using them in the matzoh crack I made, because, um. Yeah.

    I like that matzoh crack stuff - also it's very ecumenical because at Christmas it reappears with Saltines in place of the matzoh. I wonder if there's a muslim version. On pita, maybe? But the goo wouldn't have any holes to seep through if you used pita. I think I've sufficiently digressed...

  2. His sandwich thing - hah that's hilarious. It's okay, when I was little, my mom used to send me to school with dried seaweed. Boy did that make me popular as a child