Parenting Fail

Oh, My!

LO's speech therapist comes every Monday for the weekly shenanigans wherein LO says (in his head) "Dance, grownup puppets, dance!" and the speech therapist and I make like lab rats that are slowly learning to run the maze created by the mad scientist who is pretending he can't talk.

Also, there are bubbles.

Yesterday, after about a half hour of play and impressing the grownups by repeating the word "ubble! ubble!" over and over again while popping said ubbles, LO caught sight of the baby lotion resting on top of the changing table.

Now, I should take a moment here to explain that LO has of late decided to become my shadow. Anything Mom does is just all right by him. So if I'm making the bed, he "helps" by pulling on the quilt so hard it falls to the floor. If I put on chapstick, LO wants in on the action. And, since it is winter and I am applying lotion to my hands approximately once every 0.052 seconds, LO has decided that soft and supple hands are the order of the day for him, as well.

So, once he realized that it had been a good 20 minutes since the last time either of us had applied lotion, he reached for the bottle and gave the particular whine that means "I want that."

Without consulting with my brain as to whether it was a good idea, my mouth immediately started a movie quote:

"It puts the lotion on its skin."

Thankfully, my brain was able to remind my mouth of the fact that we were quoting a famed fictional serial killer in front of a mandated reporter before the second half of the sentence had a chance to come out.

My hope is that our speech therapist, who looks like she's about 23 years old soaking wet, has never actually seen the movie and has no idea what I was talking about. In which case it was a really good thing that I managed to keep the hose bit out of my comment.

And of course, this is before we even get to the fact that I'm quoting a serial killer to my toddler son, who, as far as I can tell, is only pretending that he can't talk yet. 

I just can't wait for him to start repeating my more inappropriate movie references at school.