Two Conversations

"This conversation is boring me."

Friday, J held LO on his lap while he (J) attempted to read the newest issue of Newsweek and he (LO) attempted to destroy the newest issue of Newsweek. After J gave up, he thought about the conversation he might have with LO as a 15 year old about these common incidents:

J: LO, when you were a baby I used to sit you on my lap and you would destroy whatever magazine I was reading.

LO at 15: What the hell's a magazine?

Later that evening, I was attempting to convince the child that not only was lying down a swell idea but that sleep might not be too shabby, either. In retaliation for the parental propaganda, LO levered himself up into a sitting position, then disengaged all muscles so that his head made loving contact with my nose at a high rate of speed. The following conversation was shouted up and down the stairs:

Me: Ouch! [Bad word!] [Very bad word that I really should not be saying in front of an infant!]

Pause

Me: J, how can you tell if your nose is broken?

J: If you need to ask, I don't think it's broken.

Me: Well, that's reassuring.