Cattywampus

As I've posted before, sleeping with an infant in your bed can be hazardous. To the parents, I mean. You end up clinging desperately to the edge of the bed whilst your tiny child somehow takes over all the available space. Last night, LO discovered a new and wondrous sleep position which I should not have allowed him to take: cattywampus. That is, upside down. His feet where his head should be and his head where the cat usually sleeps. There are several reasons why this is not a great way for a tired mama to get any sleep:

1. It is inevitable that the child will kick you in the head and...
a. the stars you will see when that happens are bright enough that it will be difficult for you to get back to sleep, and
b. the ragged toenails that your child refuses to let you cut will come back to haunt you.

2. While a 1 year old's head still retains the lovely new human smell that you cannot get enough of and could press your nose against for hours at a time, his hind end's odor reflects the reality of having a child who is also Mr. I LOVE Juice and is sporting a 12-hour disposable diaper.

3. There is no method of blanket distribution that will satisfy everyone, and since the child is a tiny dictator, it is likely you will shiver through the night while the human furnace sleeps peacefully beside you, except for the periodic raptor-toenail kicks to the parental head.

Sometime in the "dear lord, why am I awake?" hour of the morning, I flipped the child back to the correct orientation and attempted to resume sleeping. And yet, when the B family awoke at 7 am, the child was back to landscape rather than portrait. At least he hadn't found his way around 180 degrees, but I suspect it was only because we didn't sleep in until 9.

I'd end with a funny quip, but my tired hurts.